ATHENA

Citizens of Azeroth!

In these dire times, our world needs heroes more than ever. As the newly-divided Barrens leave confused wildlife in a state of distress, fishermen have flooded the area to engage in a new extreme sport – fishing in lava! To make matters worse, the iconic Lich King will soon be homeless, with his Frozen Throne melting right underneath his buttocks! Global Warming has already begun to take its toll on Azeroth. However, the biggest source of the heat has recently been discovered on the rocks of Mount Hyjal. A giant pool of molten lava has flooded a portion of it, boasting a mysterious skyscraper rising from a jagged rock beside it.

At this location, shamans of the Earthen Ring discovered the source of this chaos – a portal to the Elemental Plane itself. Ragnaros the Firelord has decided to purge our world with fire! According to the tabloid, Azerothian Elves (the purest form of press on Azeroth), Ragnaros is clearly envious, because Deathwing seemingly forgot that he used to be the Aspect of Earth, not Fire, and has been spewing lava all over Azeroth. Ragnaros is now about to prove to everyone that he is the true lord of fire.

It’s time to rise against those who wish to harm our kingdoms, and save our world!

One of our heroes, the World-Shaman Thrall, has devised a plan to solve this unpleasant situation. He is seeking assistants in Hyjal to help him perform a ritual. All experienced citizens are encouraged to join him – simply talk to one of his emissaries, either Naraat the Earthspeaker in Stormwind or Farseer Krogar in Orgrimmar.

Druids of the Cenarion Circle are staging a war to push the minions of Ragnaros back where they belong, into the Firelands. If you are brave enough, they will appreciate the aid of any sword or staff. Once you establish a foothold in the Molten Front and begin to build your army, you will surely find interesting trinkets and talismans to your liking.

In addition, the elite Avengers of Hyjal have advertised the selection procedure for firefighters. Starting on 28th of June, these daring heroes will be sent to the heart of the Firelands in groups of 10 or 25, where they will attempt to extinguish the most intense climate-threatening fires. If successful, this should severely dampen the impacts of Global Warming. This must be stopped, else Borean Tundra and Tanaris will be completely underwater, and we might as well start referring to craters as Lake Un’goro and Lake Sholazar. Think of the poor Lich King, who will be homeless if his icy kingdom melts!

The bravest and most heroic firefighting teams will face an even tougher challenge. Their power to extinguish will initially be reduced by 20% for 10 man groups and 15% for 25 man groups.

There have been rumors that some dragons might be willing to give material aid to firefighters wielding various forms of magic. Provided that they do them a small counter-service, of course.

Adventurers not interested in the impact of the Global Warming will be able to train their skills in gladiatorial combat. The current rankings of the best fighters will be closed and the strongest ones will be evaluated and rewarded. 28th of June marks the day when arenas will close and undergo a week-long reconstruction. After the job is done, and awards are handed out, fresh rankings will begin. Those who are not into fighting other humanoids will be able to engage the gigantic Hellhound held in Tol Barad‘s prison, which will be reopened after the reconstruction, starting on the 5th of July.

We believe that you will take those challenges as seriously as we do and prove your worth in the trials awaiting you.

Help save our world.

 

Hades Team